Coffee Date Monday: Perspective

Perspective.

Last weekend I was in Kentucky. I had gone in for my cousin's birthday. Sunday morning I was getting ready to pack everything up when my cousin called. Pappaw had died that morning.

Thankful I went in that weekend.

Thankful I got to see him the day before.

Thankful I was able to be there.

Thankful for the memories I have of pappaw.

The last two great memories of pappaw have to do with weather. As they carried his body out of the house Sunday morning, snow began falling. It was a peaceful, perfect. The day of his funeral it was in the 60s and the sun was shining. It was beautiful, perfect.

I had always been fearful of pappaw. I don't know why. He was just a type of man that I was afraid of. Didn't want to argue with him. Didn't want to disappoint him. So I never got "too close". Never asked too many questions.

When someone dies all of that comes to light. You realize how much you didn't know. You also realize how much you do know, and cling to it.

You cling to the things that person left. For me, it is my family. Pappaw left aunts, uncles, cousins, my mother, my brother. These people I love. These people I care for deeply. These people I will cling to.

This past Christmas Eve, everyone was together (a bit of a rarity). Pappaw, his 5 children, their spouses, his 11 grandchildren, their spouses, and 3 great grand children. Andrew made the comment about what it must have been like to be pappaw that evening. To look around and know that it all stemmed from you. To be 88, working hard your whole life, and to see the result of your hard work played out before you in your children and grandchildren. Pretty surreal.

This week I've not been feeling well. I've had a sore throat, stuffed up nose, sinus pressure headache, and I've been tired. I've taken naps on and off all weekend, to still be tired today. It will be a great accomplishment in my book if today I get the dishes done, dinner made, and Cooper still alive at the end of the day. It's one of those sicknesses where just taking a shower wears you out. So you can imagine my state of mind and body right now, as I have taken a shower, put dishes away, put dinner in the crock pot, and gotten cooper dressed.

I'm tired. Ready for a nap.

But today, I'm reminded how grateful I am to be alive. Pappaw was on his way to the kitchen to eat pancakes when he died. It can come at any moment for any of us. So, instead of being miserable in my sickness, I'll enjoy my relaxing day on the couch, letting Cooper get away with a lot. (cooper will enjoy that, too, I'm sure.) Thankful God has me here for another day, even if it is with a stuffy nose and drowsy eyes.

Perspective.