Love Languages

One day I asked Cooper for a hug. As I was holding my arms out ready for that great embrace that he gives, my hopes for a hug came crashing down.

Cooper scrambled away with a loud "No."

My first instinct was to get angry. To get huffy and say "well, if you won't give me a hug, then I won't give you___." 

Then I remembered that touch is not Cooper's love language. It's not how he feels most loved. Me giving him a hug isn't nearly as important to him as playing a game with him. I literally spoke out loud to myself. "Don't get mad. He doesn't want a hug. That's ok. Love him in a different way."

It's amazing to me that at just three years old Cooper's love languages are apparent. 

• Words of Affirmation. I think this is how Cooper gives and receives love. He loves to be praised. He loves it when we affirm him with "great job!" or "proud of you!" or "you are really great at that!" He also speaks words of affirmation a lot. "Thanks for making my lunch, mom." or "Great job, mommy!" or "I love you, mom." If you are wondering if Cooper loves you, listen for affirmation you receive from him. If you are wondering how you can show Cooper you love him, affirm him with words.

• Quality Time. I think this is the biggest one for Cooper. When I'm doing something with him is when I get the most "I love you" phrases from Cooper. Every time I wrestle with him, play a game with him, do a puzzle with him, play legos or blocks with him, play ninja turtles with him, take him somewhere fun or special I will always hear "Mom, I love you." Taking time out of my get things done routine to spend some one-on-one time with Cooper makes him feel loved. 
  

Knowing the love languages of those around you will help you build great relationships. Not just in your dating/marriage relationships, but in your parenting and friendships as well. It will help you show love in a better way. It will help those you love really know that you love them. 

So, because I've declared it to be love week, I'm taking some time to do special things for my boys that involve their love languages.

Maybe silly faces could be added as one of Cooper's love languages!

Do you know your love language? What about your spouse and your children? Do you know their love languages? If so, how has this helped you?