when a son teaches his mom.

Tired.

Needing a break.

No break in sight.

It's late.

My husband is away for the night.

It's well past bedtime.

I'm trying to brush Cooper's teeth.

He keeps crying and whining.

I loose it.

I yell.

I hurt his feelings.

After I finish brushing, I tell him I'm sorry for hurting him. I tell him I'm sorry that I yelled. I ask for his forgiveness.

Once he is ready for bed, I ask if I can just hold him. Holding him and being still somehow made it all better.

I wanted this to be another teachable moment for Cooper. I want him to know that I can't do things on my own. I want him to know that I need Jesus. So, a conversation began.

"Cooper, mommy had to tell Jesus she was sorry tonight."

Why?

"Because I've not been nice to you or daddy this evening. I'm tired, and I've said and done things because of being tired." 

Cooper's response: "but you do so many things for us."

That was the end of the conversation. Instead of teaching my son, he taught me.

My character with Cooper is consistent. My "loosing it" moments don't happen very often, and when they do, I always tell him I'm sorry. Because I do so many things for him, it's easier for him to let the bad moments slide. I had a moment where I didn't do well at loving my child, but he still knows I love him. He knows I'll continue to do things for him. He knows I will still take care of him. That brought me so much comfort.

But how much more God cares for us! How much more he loves us!

Cooper reminded me about God's character tonight. He reminded me that God's character is consistent. Not just consistent - it's perfect. He reminded me that God does so many things for us. When I'm feeling upset with or angry at God, I need to remember all He does for us. Everything will be ok, because God still loves me. He will still take care of me. The more I remember the good of God, the less I question the circumstances that surround me. The more I remember all God does, the less I doubt. The amazing thing is that I can't love others perfectly, but God can. His love for me is perfect. His love for me is great. His love for me is unfailing.

As I pondered all of that, I relished in the moment of my child comforting me. He was hugging me, he was patting me, he was showing me God's love in a moment I needed it most.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever."

Psalm 118:1