the confidence of heaven.

Easter Sunday, 2014

Andrew and I sat in church waiting for the service to start. And the thought crossed my mind, "I'm glad we can tell Cooper, with confidence, that when we leave this earth, we will be in heaven."

Our pastor often states that the greatest gift you can give your children is a healthy marriage. However, I think I'd like to add the confidence of heaven to that greatest gift list.

"Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties. After all, everyone dies - so the living should take this to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time." 

Ecclesiastes 7:2-4

In a year and a half I said goodbye to 3 grandparents. Since then we lost a friend and confidant, whose death his us both hard. I have a cousin battling stage 4 cancer, and we're all praying for a miracle. Sometimes thinking of these people brings about disbelief that they're really gone and hurt in my heart that feels like a punch to the gut. In just a few years time I've had to think a lot about death, and the legacy I want to leave behind. I realized the difference of hope of heaven when one leaves us can make in the healing process after they are gone. I realized the strength one can obtain through Christ in the process of grief. I have no experience of loss of a parent, spouse, child, or a closest friend, so I can't speak based on those experiences. However, this I can speak from: Jesus is enough for me. If you take it all away, Jesus remains. Death won't be the end of me. And when it comes time for Andrew and I to pass on, I want Cooper to know it's not the end for us. In that hope there is power.

Toward the end of Easter service, Dwight, our lead pastor, began sharing a moment he had with his family during communion time together on Good Friday. Dwight is in a time of life where he is watching his dad transition from earth to heaven. He looked at his kids and told them there would come a time that he wouldn't be here on earth. And while it's ok to be sad, grieve, and weep, there's also a great hope that comes with his death. Knowing their dad is in heaven, knowing that the same power that got their dad to heaven is living in them, helping them carry on after a parent's death.

That's the kind of confidence I want to leave Cooper with. Confidence that his dad and I will be in heaven. Confidence that the same power that saved us is in him, too, and can help him overcome anything after we're gone.

It all reminds me of a song by Andrew Peterson called "Lay Me Down."

We are not alone
We are more than flesh and bone
What is seen will pass away
What is not is going home

When you lay me down to die
I'll miss my boys, I'll miss my girls
Lay me down and let me say goodbye to this world
You can lay me anywhere
But just remember this
When you lay me down to die

I'll open up my eyes on the skies I've never known
In the place where I belong
And I'll realize his love is just another word for Home

I believe in the holy shores of uncreated light
I believe there is power in the blood
And all off the death that ever was,
If you set it next to life
I believe it would barely fill a cup
'Cause I believe there's power in the blood.

So when you lay me down to die
I'll miss my boys, I'll miss my girls
Lay me down and let me say goodbye to this world
You can lay me anywhere
But just remember this
When you lay me down to die
You lay me down to live

You can listen to it here. Song starts around 2 minutes in..